Lord Megatron swept through the halls of his ship, deep in thought. The ship was alive with noise, but under normal circumstances that did not interrupt him. After all, he made a habit of very deliberately not listening in on his underlings’ discussions; he knew better than to try. And after all, that was Soundwave’s job. This particular snatch of conversation, however, jerked him from his musings rather violently, and it took him a moment to realize why.

The voice was too small.

It was not too quiet; he was more than used to mutters and whispers — not that lowered volume did much good where Soundwave was involved. The voice was too small. It was too thin and high and miniscule.

Megatron stopped, certain for a moment that he had imagined it, as absorbed as he had been in his own thoughts. A moment later, he heard Knockout’s distinctly sardonic laugh. Megatron was reassured until Starscream said, “Oh, but your race is hardly that clever.”

Megatron stalked to the door and into the open control room. At first, he saw nothing out of place. Soundwave was, as usual, working diligently at one of the consoles. Knockout was lounging against a wall, and across from him was Starscream, who had his arms folded and was scowling at the medic. Quicksilver had settled lightly in the corner between them. Except for the fact that the four of them had managed to remain in a room together, everything seemed ordinary.

Then, suddenly, Megatron spotted a small movement near the floor and stared, a sneer forming on his face. “What is the meaning of this?” he snapped. He pointed a single clawed finger at the being before him. “What is that?”

Knockout rose. “Lord Megatron,” he said smoothly. “Allow me to explain.”

“We call them humans,” Quicksilver offered.

”’Them’?” Megatron roared.

“It’s really not worth making a fuss over,” Knockout insisted, shooting Quicksilver a dirty look. “We merely… acquired a few allies.”

“It was really my idea, Lord Megatron,” Starscream put in. He stepped forward to elbow his way in front of Knockout. “These humans, when approached in the right capacity, are quite useful in their own… small way.”

“This was your doing?” Megatron hissed.

Starscream shrunk back, immediately putting Knockout back between himself and Megatron. “Uh — well — that is, Lord Megatron, I only wanted to further our cause!”

“Save your excuses!” He glared about at all of them. “How did these humans get here?”

“Well, I flew here,” said a voice. Megatron looked down to see a human male leaning against the leg of a console. He was covered in tan cloth and appeared unabashedly nonchalant.

“I drove,” said another. It was the human Megatron had originally spotted, a female. Knockout coughed. She contorted her face at him. “Okay, I didn’t drive. I rode.”

“I thought I was going to the grocery store,” another human female said wistfully. She patted Quicksilver’s leg. “That’s not where I was going.”

Megatron disregarded them, instead turning to the Decepticons. “You brought them here?”

Knockout shrugged. “Certainly. What harm could they really do?” He smirked. “We were a bit hesitant at first, of course, but then we discovered that our second in command had teamed up with Baines.”

Starscream grumbled. “At least I made an alliance which proved useful to the Decepticons.”

“So useful,” Quicksilver mumbled sarcastically.

“More useful than either of your companions!” he shot back.

“He only takes the best of the Air Force,” the male said. He smirked at Knockout’s human and winked. “Only the ones who can keep up.”

Knockout’s human furrowed her brow and leaned away from the male a bit. Knockout chuckled. “Tex is useful.” He scooped up the human female and set her down out of the way of Starscream’s pacing. “I like her. She’s got perspective.”

Quicksilver shrugged. “Elizabeth taught me how to use the internet.”

“Bad idea,” Quicksilver’s human commented. “Very bad.”

“In essence, Lord Megatron,” Starscream interrupted, “we have all gathered human… assistance. They provide certain information and aid us in disguising ourselves. We only do this in the name of the Decepticons.”

“They can’t hurt anything,” Knockout assured him confidently.

“Fine!” Megatron snarled. He turned to the only sane being left in the room besides himself. “Soundwave.”

Soundwave stood very still and silent for a moment, then shifted. He almost seemed… uncomfortable. “Lord Megatron,” he acknowledged.

Megatron stared at Soundwave’s back. “Face me,” he commanded. “I want you to monitor these humans at all times. If they even—”

Soundwave turned toward him, revealing another, light-haired human sitting on the console, legs swinging.

Megatron stopped. “What… is it doing on the console?”

Soundwave fidgeted again, then held out a hand in front of the human. She jumped onto it, and he lowered her down to the floor. She gave Megatron a thoughtful look, then opted to stand just behind Soundwave’s foot. “Hi,” she said.

“What were you doing on the console?” Megatron demanded.

“I… like buttons?” she suggested lamely. Soundwave shifted his foot a bit so that she was further behind him and watched Megatron carefully.

Megatron stared around the room in wrathful disbelief. Only a short time ago, the notion of four of his top soldiers harboring the native vermin, much less working with them, would have been unthinkable. Now there were four humans in his control room, and what was more, his own Decepticons were defending their presence.

After a long moment, he gave up. “I am not,” he spat, “getting one.” With that, he left. He was going to return to his command room and hope to Primus that Airachnid had not been infected with this sudden love for humans.